home ask archive theme

eggsquad:

Literally my math teacher abandoned today’s lesson because some kid brought his kitten to school i don’t even know

coochiecrease:

if anyone asks you what colorguard is just show them this

invaderotaku:

kalliat:

how do boys actually dry their ducks after they shower like

do you just grab it in the towel and roll it between your hands like a dough snake

or do you swing it around to air dry

I need to know

image

cutejewishgirl:

i can’t wait for my grandchildren to wish they lived in the era of beyoncé

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails

Nicki Minaj’s Reaction…

mattyofshadow:

deluxesherlock:

bacon-lettuce-and-timmyturner:

fineas-and-pherb:

Best backstory. (x)

You know…for a second there…his head shape led me to believe he could be Phineas’s father.

whA T

NO BUT THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY PHINEAS IS SO INVENTIVE OH MY GOD

shubbabang:

So I work at target now and one of my favorite things to do when I hear something in the next aisle fall is to drop what I’m doing and stand at the end of that aisle like so:

image

image

image

image

image